Yesterday I attended the annual SW Minnesota picnic that my agency hosts. At first I realized that everyone there had adopted already and I didn't know anyone but then I ran into a woman from the support group I attend and enjoyed the meal with her and her family and got to meet a couple new families that she knew.
Then just as I was about to leave, this woman called out my name. It was an old coworker of mine from more than 12 years ago and I hadn't recognized her. She and her husband have adopted from Russia twice (in 2003 and 2006) and have two darling girls. I talked with them for over an hour and they had so much information to give.
I really feel like I scored because I rekindled an old friendship and I found some one (who lives here) to help guide me through the process. She and her husband were so excited for me and so willing to share--they will be invaluable to me when it gets time to travel, etc.
It is amazing how many wonderful people I have come to know just because I started this process.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
FASD
Last night I attended a class (support group) with a speaker from the Minnesota Organization for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Most of the people there had already adopted children that have been diagnosised with FASD or some other similier syndrome. We watched a movie that showcased four children affected by fetal alcohol exposure and their adoptive parents. The speaker talked about her two adopted children that have both been affected also and many participants shared parts of their stories. I have read about it and learned about it at my agency but this is the first time I have met real parents and children affected by it.
To be honest, it was pretty scary.
The kids were actually all very cute and mostly loving but they really had some bad moments and they required very different parenting than "regular" kids. The most scary part to me was when they grow up to teen and adult years--these are kids that will be affected their whole lives and will not accomplish the typical dreams that all parents have for thier children (graduate from college, get a good job, get married,and have a family). They may accomplish some of these things and live on their own successfully but in a different way than our normal dreams for them.
All of the parents were amazing and seemed to deal with this with great calmness, lots of love, and even some humor. But..they did express how hard it was and how important it was for them to have some support also. All the parents stated that they would absolutely choose the same children over again even knowing everything upfront.
I do worry about this--mostly my worries are for the child. I know that I could handle some difficult times and would do what I need to do but I don't want my child to have to go through such tough times and I would mourn the loss of those dreams I talked about. I also worry about who would help her when I am gone.
But..I am still glad I went. Children adopted from foster care in the US and children from Russia have a very high liklihood of some fetal alcohol exposure (there are all different degrees) so it is good to be knowledgeable. I do believe that Knowledge is power and the unkown is far more fearful than being prepared.
Although though I hope I never need them, it is good to know an organization like this exists if I ever do.
To be honest, it was pretty scary.
The kids were actually all very cute and mostly loving but they really had some bad moments and they required very different parenting than "regular" kids. The most scary part to me was when they grow up to teen and adult years--these are kids that will be affected their whole lives and will not accomplish the typical dreams that all parents have for thier children (graduate from college, get a good job, get married,and have a family). They may accomplish some of these things and live on their own successfully but in a different way than our normal dreams for them.
All of the parents were amazing and seemed to deal with this with great calmness, lots of love, and even some humor. But..they did express how hard it was and how important it was for them to have some support also. All the parents stated that they would absolutely choose the same children over again even knowing everything upfront.
I do worry about this--mostly my worries are for the child. I know that I could handle some difficult times and would do what I need to do but I don't want my child to have to go through such tough times and I would mourn the loss of those dreams I talked about. I also worry about who would help her when I am gone.
But..I am still glad I went. Children adopted from foster care in the US and children from Russia have a very high liklihood of some fetal alcohol exposure (there are all different degrees) so it is good to be knowledgeable. I do believe that Knowledge is power and the unkown is far more fearful than being prepared.
Although though I hope I never need them, it is good to know an organization like this exists if I ever do.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Call to Action
If you haven't heard of this yet, please check it out and help orphans find homes.
Sorry--I didn't figure out how to make this a link so just copy and paste this address into your web browser to check it out.
http://www.jcics.org/call_to_action.htm
Sorry--I didn't figure out how to make this a link so just copy and paste this address into your web browser to check it out.
http://www.jcics.org/call_to_action.htm
Saturday, July 4, 2009
My Adoption Song
There is an old song that was always one of my favorites and when I started this adoption journey it took on new meaning for me and seemed to speak directly to this journey. It is a song about how everything we go through in our lives, leads us to the one we were meant to be with. Very early on, I printed the lyrics on my blog but little did I know exactly how many obstacles would be placed along the way.
The song still fits this journey so well and I pray for the day that I can actually say I have reached the one that was meant for me.
I finally went out and found the song and added it to my blog.
It is called "To get me to you" by Lila McCann. I hope you enjoy it also.
The song still fits this journey so well and I pray for the day that I can actually say I have reached the one that was meant for me.
I finally went out and found the song and added it to my blog.
It is called "To get me to you" by Lila McCann. I hope you enjoy it also.
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