One step forward, three backwards

I could just cry tonight.

The day started out great. I got my FBI form notarized and overnighted to the Secretary of State with the guarentee it will arrive by noon tomorrow. I practically floated out of the post office thinking--I have just sent my last piece of paperwork off to be apostilled. Maybe I will get my dossier to Russia by the end of this week after all. Everything's great.

Now fast forward to this evening at home--opened my email and there was a note from my agencies dossier specialist. She had reviewed my documents and had some comments.
I made a mistake on my financial documents--added wrong which is something I can easily correct. And..three of my Doctor's forms need to be redone--dates don't all match up. I couldn't believe this one--I had already made my Doctor redo them twice as I was being anal about the directions I had and I thought they were perfect but no--there was something on there they didn't like that I wasn't even told about before. So now I have to go back to the Doctor and hope she can turn these new forms around quickly. She has been so good so far in this process that I am sure she will but gee--how many times does she need to do the same thing?
The are also questioning the copy of my house deed--the seal doesn't show up good enough. So another trip back to the county assessor and see if they "can do it better".

Really I did get teary because I was so careful to follow all directions and I got assertive when people questioned me and made several redo docuements already when I thought they didn't get it just right. Now this will add time--I just can't just leave work without planning it far ahead (for some reason the patients still come so some one needs to be there) and once I get these all redone they have to be reapostilled (adding at least three days since I have to overnight them and hope they do it right away and overnight it back).

This pretty seals my fate that nothing will happen yet this year.

So happy this morning and so sad and mad tonight. Will this rollercoaster ever end?

Good Day

I am super excited--I got my FBI clearance in the mail today!!!!!!!! I jumped, hollered and danced when I picked it up. This is what I have been waiting for and it is the last piece of my dossier. WooHoo. I thnk the email plea helped.

Now I know this isn't the end yet--I will have to get it notarized Monday, rushed off for apostilling, and then sent to my agency but hopefully this means that I can get my dossier submitted this week and be that much closer to bringing my daughter home! I see a cold Siberian winter in my future.

Pray that Russia is happy with all my documents.

You can't rush the FBI

Well this waiting is getting to me already and I don't even have dossier part 2 submitted yet so I have a lot more to wait out yet.
The only document I have left to get is the FBI clearance. I sent it on Oct. 23rd and requested to have it by Nov. 9th. That came and went so I called them on the 1oth and they kindly told me to try again next week. So I immediately called this morning. Again I got a very nice person on the phone who told me it is in proces and I explained the urgency she just said, "well you can try sending an email and here is the address" so I quickly followed her advice. Do you think it will work?

Since the beginning I knew this wait was part of the process and most of the time I handle it okay but the evenings are hard. I look at her pictures and I just want so much more than that. I have only had one night of crying so I'm still holding up okay but I sure wish she were here.

Remembering Dad

Today is one year from the day my Dad passed away. I spent the weekend with my mom and some other family members remembering him.
Last year all the crops were out of the field at least two weeks before he died--in fact my Dad got in the combine (with some help) and combined the last round of corn. It was a really good day for him then. This year very little corn is out of the fields and it is still very wet but the guys are working long days and the corn dryers keep running. Amazing how much difference a year makes.
How I would have loved for him to be around to meet my little girl. It won't be the same but with pictures and stories she will definitely know her Granddad! He left a great legacy of family behind and we will strive to continue that.
Love you and Miss you Dad!!

Had my first shower!!

No-- I do not mean the cleansing kind of shower--I promise I do that daily.

I mean I had a "little girl" shower.
I have mentioned my wonderful adoption support group before--a great group of about 10 women. Well tonight at our monthly dinner they surprised me with a shower. It was so fun to open little girl presents. I got beautiful clothes, pajamas, games, a lovely doll, and when I announce her name, I will get a hand painted wall plaque from a really neat store that one of the other adoption Moms owns.
It was so fun. I am a lucky woman.

All about my little girl

I have been asked so many questions and I really want to tell everything I know about my little girl because I am so excited about her but there are many things that need to remain private for now.
Unfortunately the most asked questions are things I can not answer yet:
--what is her name?
--Can we see pictures?
--What do you know about her family and background?

However there are many things that I can share so I will be the proud mother and tell you what I can share about her.
--She eats everything and likes everything (so they say)
--She likes personal attention and enjoys her classes, especially Montessori classes
--she is comforted by hugs and kind words
--she is selective in her bonding and has one favorite caregiver but does respect and like all the people that care for her.
--She likes to take care of the younger children and helps the caregivers. She imitates the teachers.
--She was very quiet and did not speak to me much but was full of smiles and laughter by the end of our time together.
--She gives the best hugs and has the brightest smile.
--She is a very neat girl--she always put everything back in the same spot when she was done playing with it and wanted her clothes fixed if they got off kilter.
--She has a short attention span and is very busy--we went from one thing to another throughout all the visits.
--she loves helium balloons
--she loves to run, ride bike, and jump.
--coloring held her attention the longest--her pictures are just scribbles so far.

And then about me:
--I am crazy about this little girl, think about her all the time, feel tremendous responsibility to do what is right for her, and can't wait to have her home.

I am home but lonely

I miss her already.
Just got home today. Once again the travel went very well and so far, I haven't been too affected by jet lag either way. Hopefully I won't crash in the next couple days. I have so much to do. Now it is time to compile the whole dossier--meaning multiple forms from multiple places. I have to see the Doctor, the psychologist, get letters from my bank, my workplace, my insurance, FBI clearance, police clearance, approval from USCIS (immigration), and the list goes on. I have some of them done but many had to be within 90 days of court so I had to wait. I am still waiting on the FBI and the USCIS--why is it the government takes the longest?? The sooner I get all this in, the sooner I can get a court date so this will be a busy week.

On the way home I had a long layover in the Moscow airport and discovered they do not have very much waiting space and they have a horrendous process for checking in for your flight. The whole time there I was thinking about my little girl and how hard this long wait with poor conditions would be when she was with me. Then I realized it won't be that way on the return next time because we will be leaving right from Moscow--so much better.
Amsterdam was totally different--I had another long layover but they have a beautiful airport and they have sleeping rooms right in the airport that you can rent by the hour. I got one and it was very nice and comfortable. I got to sleep for about 5 hours, take a shower and get refreshed, and watch American TV. It really broke the trip up and I think it helped with the jet lag. If I have to have any long layovers next time I hope it is in Amsterdam because it would be so much easier to wait with your child in a private room vs. a big airport. Thanks Lisa for that tip on the Yotel.

Now that I am home, she is all I can think about. I developed the 180 pictures that I took--I know the judge doesn't want that many but he will want to see a phote album of the visits with her.
I also went right out and bought an outfit from Gymboree--now that I know her size, I will have so much fun shopping.
Paperwork comes first but then, getting her room ready--I am so excited.

I know the wait will be hard--everything I do now centers around her--but I think it will go quickly too as I will keep busy. I am praying to go before the end of this year. The tax deduction will be nice but I mostly just want to be with her.