Christmas, New Years, and other updates

I promised to fill you in on Christmas so finally I am getting it done.
I was sick the whole week leading up to Christmas so our preparations weren't quite what I had planned and my decorating barely got done but in the end it didn't matter--Hannah held nothing against me. When I got the tree up and turned on the lights Hannah looked in wonder and asked, "Mom, how did you do that?" She thought it was magic.
My first day of feeling half way good was Christmas eve so Hannah and I headed out that morning to finish our shopping and then had lunch out together. She is not a shopper but did wonderful that day and she is becoming my favorite eating out partner always making it fun.
We went to church that evening and she made it through that well also. I just love the Christmas eve service. I took Hannah to the early service because I thought the midnight mass just wouldn't work. However they save all the really great music and special stuff for midnight so I missed out on that but having Hannah with me for her first Christmas made it more special than any other Christmas for me.
Making a special dinner for a four year old was something new for me too but I think I succeeded with ravioli, garlic bread, veggies, and ice-cream. Hannah and I enjoyed it.
Christmas eve she got to open her presents from me. She was so precious as she opened her box and exclaimed, "shirts and pants--PERFECT!!!!!" She also opened the ones she got in the mail from Uncle Dan and Aunt Kristin. After opening them she danced around the living room singing "Thank you Thank you Thank you Dan and Kristin" and then made kissing noised into the air. I should have had the video camera out. Of course we put out cookies and milk in the kitchen and reindeer food outside. And she went to bed great. I swear I got the best kid ever.
Christmas morning when she woke up I said "Hannah I think Santa came". She still didn't equate it with presents but just wanted to know which window she could look out of to see him. She soon however discovered the presents and was very excited. She got a Loving Family and dollhouse with dogs and a van. Also got a Barbie with a pony and some lego. She was excited with everything she opened and very appreciative. What a sweetie. It was basically all over by 8:30am and we just played the rest of the morning. We had a quiet day and just spent it together.
Sunday after Christmas we went to my sisters in Wisconsin and Hannah got cross country skis and went out for her second time--It was so fun to watch her as she had smiles and giggles the whole time--even when falling. I guess my Siberian born beauty was made for those cold weather sports.
Our family Christmas was New Years weekend at my sister's house. We had another great weekend. Of course presents were a big hit but the main thing for Hannah was the time she spent with her cousins. She absolutely loves that and made connections with each one--even my nieces boyfriend who was a great sport. It is so fun to see her with my family. One of my worries is that she will be alone if something happens to me but she has already made her own connections with my family and talks about them all the time--she has a big family that loves her. I am also happy that at the end of the day she always wants me at bedtime and is happy to be going to her own home again.
I have to say thanks to my sister for a great weekend at her house.

The rest of our winter had been pretty normal.
Hannah has developed quite a social life. Between my friends and her friends in daycare she had five birthday party invites in January so we have been going to fun places all over town--Chuck E. Cheese, Godfather's pizza, House of Bounce,and Jets gymnastics. One party was actually at the kids house which is unusual these days. I am already feeling the pressure for what I will do in April.
The cold weather lately has kept up indoors more than we like but swimming helps break that up. Today was 9 above zero and sunny so I did take Hannah out cross country skiing for a bit. She did great. It was a bit comical as I am not a skiier so when she would fall down the best advice I could give her was "Get back up". the only other thing I knew to say was "don't cross your skiis." At least we got out and had a few laughs.

It's a wonderful life

One year ago today I was sitting in a court room in Russia and was nervous as all get out because my future life depended on what the judge would say. She finally said "Yes--I grant your petition and you are now the girl's mother". I remember that moment as if it was yesterday. My knees went weak and I had to sit down as soon as I walked out of the courtroom. It was so amazing. Then 11 days later, the orphanage director brought Hannah to my hotel, handed her to me, and we have not spent a night apart since.
When I look at Hannah every day I am amazed that she is really my daughter. How can I be so blessed? What would my life be without her? As I look back on our last year I know there were some difficult times and some were very recent but quite frankly I can't remember the details of them. I just remember how much better my life has been, how much fuller, and how much more enjoyable.
To celebrate our day, I left work at noon and picked Hannah up from daycare. We went to "Yogi Bear"in 3D, then went swimming at a little waterpark for a couple hours, and then out to eat--complete with ice cream. Hannah probably thought I was crazy because I kept telling her it was our special day--just Mama and Hannah--and I was pretty mushy sometimes but she did great. She told me "That was really fun" and about three diffent times she would hold my face in her hands and say "You are my Mommy" and then give me a kiss--she was so sweet.
At night she usually picks out some books for me to read but tonight I picked the books and read three adoption related story books to her and she fell asleep on my lap as soon as we were done.
A perfect ending to a perfect year.
I love you my Hannah!

Christmas is coming!!

Wow--two months since I last posted. There is so much to say and yet life seems to go on as normal--which is a good thing. Sorry no pictures--my computer freezes up as soon as I put my camera card into it and I know nothing about why it's happening or how to fix it. I have to wait for some one smarter than me.
Hannah has been enjoying swimming lessons and passed the first two preschool levels quite easily and will start level three (eel) in Jan. She just loves to be in the water but during lessons she does have trouble sitting still and listening when the teacher is helping the other kids--she just wants to swim all the time.
Sitting still is a problem for my little girl--it is the only thing she gets in trouble for at school and almost everyone that meets her comments on her energy level and her curiosity. I must be used to it because to me she seems like a normal 4 year old kid and I think her behavior is pretty good most of the time. Oh well--we will keep working on it.
She really enjoys her church school and I am very happy for that. It is one hour of instruction with mostly hands on learning but the kids are required to be quiet, calm, and respectful the whole hour. She does very well and just can't wait to go back so I know she likes it. Those teachers have never complained about her energy level but they seem to be the most calm people I have ever met. I think it's good for her. It is also nice for me because it is an hour of total quiet for me. It is not worth it to go back home so I take a book and sit in the church library and read for a whole hour--it is heaven.
Her first school pictures were taken in Nov and they turned out great. She has two "best" friends in school and the mother of one of the other girls arranged for them to have a friends picture of the three of them. It is so cute and will be a great keepsake to have of Hannah's first friends.
We got to see a couple great Christmas shows--Mickey's Rockin Road Show in Nov. and then we saw the Moscow ballet perform The Great Russian Nutcracker in Dec. While they are on opposite ends of the culture spectrum, we truly enjoyed both. At Mickey's show, Hannah wore jeans and a Cat in the Hat shirt, we met up with two other little friends, and the whole place was jamming the whole time with kids jumping, clapping, dancing, and singing along most of the time. She had fun.
At the ballet we both dressed up and she sat very quietly and was enthralled the whole time--that is until the very end when she quietly crawled up in my lap and fell asleep. It was about an hour past her bedtime at that point. We both enjoyed that as well and she twirled around the house in ballerina mode for days afterwards.
Thanksgiving was a big celebration for our family this year and Hannah got to meet five members of my immediate family that she hadn't met yet. 31 of us were together for two whole days and it was so fun. We had a big prime rib dinner the first day and then the traditional turkey dinner the next day. Both were so delicious.
Hannah ran with her cousins the whole time and I only saw her when she needed something or got very tired--then she would come to Mom. It was so fun for me to see her having that much fun and it was reassuring to see that she wanted me when she needed anything. It was cold and snowy the whole time and my brother's road was sheer ice so our traveling was a bit hairy but everyone made it and we had a blast.
Now my youngest brother Dan and his wife Kristin are the only ones that Hannah hasn't met in person yet. They plan to be coming through Minnesota in the spring when they move from California to Connecticut and we can't wait to see them.
My court date in Russia was in January last year and we just had our one year post placement visit. It went very well and once again Hannah charmed the socks off the social worker. She was very shy which is not like her but she seems to know when we are at visits that concern her and she gets more wary. It is nice to have that done but it hardly seems like a year is almost here.
Hannah had her early childhood screening this month and she tested "okay" for her age. That was good to hear but the screener went ahead and put through a referral for an IEP anyway because of her history. I am very glad and I hope that she qualifies for some help because I want her to have the best start possible before school. She won't get the evaluation until Jan. so we will see.
Looking at the whole school thing has been stressful for me--who knew I had so many options and that I would be touring kindergartens the way other people tour colleges. Where I grew up there was only one school and everyone went there so that was it but not so here. I am touring one of the public "choice" schools in town that teaches based on the core knowledge principles, her neighborhood school, and two of the private options in town. So many things to think about. Like --both private schools have full day kindergarten which I think is good and certainly fits my working schedule better. The public schools here only have half day kindergarten so more daycare would be needed. If she needs any of the free help the state offers she would only get it in the public school system--it is not available to the private schools. And of course, cost is a factor too. I am also keeping an open mind to holding her back a year if her testing shows she is not quite ready. I would like her to be with the same age kids but I also want her to have a good start in school. So much to think about. The private schools and the choice school have enrollment deadlines in January so I guess I will be figuring this out fairly soon.
She is growing and learning all the time and I see changes from month to month so I still think it is feasible she will be ready by Sept. One example that struck me was Yesterday she asked me if she could watch a movie. I said "How about if we paint instead, I got new paints." A couple months ago she would have just whined "No--a movie please" but yesterday she said very calmly, "I do like to paint but I really want to watch a movie now, please". I couldn't resist so she got a movie against my better judgement.
Getting ready for Christmas has been pretty fun. She loves our Christmas tree. I put up the tree and strung the lights at night after she had gone to bed. In the morning I showed her and when I turned on the lights she gasped and said, "Mom--you made that?" She was quite impressed by me at that moment. She really got into the decorating and helped me for a good 45 minutes. She was very good at hanging the ornaments and talking about each one as we hung it. At one point it seems to bother her a little when she figured out I had most of the ornaments before I had her. So I was really glad that I had bought a couple new ones that were just for her. After decorating it she wanted to call Grandma. While she talking on the phone to Grandma I hear her say, "Can you see this one?" and then she goes to the tree and holds the phone up to an ornament. So funny. She is getting the Santa thing and seems excited he will bring presents --she wants a pony and a barbie. I took her to the Mall to see Santa and she wouldn't go close. I was not going to force her so we just left. She said to me, "Mom--I want to like him. When I get bigger I will like him".
We do read the Christmas story also and she plays with the nativity and talks about Baby Jesus so we are learning the reason for Christmas also.
I think Hannah and I will have Christmas eve and Christmas morning together--just the two of us and I am looking forward to that. Our big family Christmas will be on New Year's Day.
So..Happy Holidays to you all. I will be back next year to post about our first Christmas together.

Love at first sight

One year ago today I walked into an orphanage half way around the world in Siberia and met the most beautiful little 3 year old girl. My life was changed for the better that day.

Quote from my journal entry that night--
"I have met my daughter and she is perfect--my heart is full."

I have no better words to describe how I feel than "my heart is still full". I love you Hannah Raisa McNab and always will.

Culture Day at school

Today I took the morning off work to attend the Culture parade at Hannah's school. Parents were invited and kids were asked to dress in a traditional attire from their culture. We finally got to wear the dress I bought for Hannah in Moscow. One of her little friends said to her "Hannah, you look beautiful". She loved wearing it at first but after a bit she wanted to change back--she didn't want to be different from the other kids. I hope she becomes proud of being different as time goes on.
It was a lot of fun and it was fun to see her class in action. A room of 20 four and five year olds can be quite chaotic. I always admired teachers but even more so now. I had to leave in the middle of the day and that was harder than dropping her off in the morning. She clung to me saying "I want to go to our house please please please." and "Don't good-bye to me". fortunately the teacher said she had a good day after I left and she was in a great mood all evening.

Earlier this month Hannah moved up to a new room at her daycare/preschool and is now in the Pre-K class or as she says "The big kids room". Most of her class moved with her so she is still with her friends but the class size almost doubled from 12 to 21. I sure am thankful to the teachers because they have a hard job. She now has to wear a uniform--she thinks it is great.

On Labor Day we did make a big weekend of it since it was our last summer one and Hannah had just graduated from her preschool class. We went to the "lake up north" to my sister's place. My brother and his family and my mom were also up there with their camper. We sure had a good time.

There is a Nature Center here in Rochester with great hiking trails and other nature things for kids and adults alike. They had thier annual Fall Festival a couple weeks ago and Hannah and I went. It was a great way to spend the day with a kid. We were blessed that the weather was just perfect for a Fall day--sweatshirts and jeans. We got in a lot of hiking and had a good time.

We have started swimming lessons which are a big hit--she loves the water which I knew but she really loves learning from her teacher. I sit behing this glass wall with all the other parents and watch. Sometime during the class she has to make sure I am there and then waves like crazy until I wave back.

We also started religion school and that is also a big hit. As soon as she reached the door she says "Good-bye Mom" and then shoos me away. There is no place to watch so I take a book and have one hour of quiet and reading so it is a big hit with me too.

Mommy is getting back into her life too. Last weekend I went to a Nursing conference at a resort in the Brainerd Lakes area (Northern MN). My sister went with and stayed with Hannah while I was learning. Hannah loved being with her Aunt Kathy and thought it was funny that Mom was "going to school". It was a beautiful weekend and we got to see a lot of trees already changing colors--the yellow and oranges and reds were quite vibrant--very pretty.

This coming weekend I am celebrating the 50th birthday of my dearest friend. My mom is coming to stay with Hannah while I go out. Hannah is so excited to see Grandma. It will be the very first time since we've been together that Hannah will go to bed without me there. I can't think of anyone else I would let do it than Grandma. I am so thankful to have such wonderful family.

Home six months

I am a little overdue as we were home for six months on August 6th. Every day I am still amazed that I get to be the Mom of this little beauty and I marvel at how blessed I am but in many ways it feels like she has always been with me. She is just a part of me and I love her so much.
The weekend of the 6th was our Annual McNab Family Campout--the 25th year. We had an awesome time and Hannah was the talk of the weekend as many people were meeting her for the first time. It was mind blowing to realize that only six months ago she lived in an orphanage in Russia and now she was in America, surrounded by 62 loving family members, and running like crazy with the other kids.
Also I do still remember feeling that the adoption process was so difficult with many disappoints along the way and I remember wondering if it would really happen but......now that part is all a distant memory and doesn't seem so bad. I do believe that the process shouldn't be that hard but I can not wish that any of my journey was different because it lead me to Hannah!

She has learned so much in the last six months. Communication is not an issue with us anymore. She understands everything I say and her vocabulary is expanding rapidly. We are able to have little conversations now and I love it.
She knows all my immediate family (which includes her 16 cousins) by name and just loves to visit or spend time with them.
She is really bonded to me but yet has an independent streak that is usually enjoyable but occassionally frustrating.
She came into the kitchen yesterday saying "Mama, Mama" sounding kind of urgent. When I said "What", she wrapped her arms around my leg and said "I love you so much Mama". and then went back to play. Those are the moments that make everything worthwhile.
She is a little copy cat. The other day she called for me and when I didn't come immediately she said "Mama come now........ONE.....TWO.....THREE". The thing is I have only used that on her twice but she seemed to know it meant business the first time I did it. She doesn't seem to get that I can tell her what to do but she can't tell me what to do.
She is a compassionate little girl and is very upset when anyone else is upset. She always says "I'm sorry" when she thinks she has hurt some one else. Her teacher at daycare says that she always comes over and tries to comfort any kid that is hurt or sad.
Her favorite toys are her babies, her kitchen, puzzles, and her fisher price little people. She loves to ride her bike (with training wheels), walk her baby, go to the park, and go swimming.
She absolutely loves animals with horses being her favorite. I have had a little pony crawling around my house saying "Neigh" for a couple months now. Her teacher said she even had to stop her from eating grass one day.
Movies are another love and I have to limit them as she asks for a movie almost every day. I have become acquainted with all the Disney princesses, Bambi, Toy Story, Dora and Diego, the new Mickey Mouse, Special Agent Oso, the Wonder pets, Little Einsteins, Handy Manny, the wiggles, and Yo Gabba Gabba--all pretty good shows. I no longer keep up on Grey's Anatomy, Desparate Housewives, or the latest Bachelor--nothing I watched before is suitable for a 4 year old.
She is always active and sitting still and listening is her biggest challenge in school. It is also a challenge in church. I think if Mass could be only 30 minutes she would do fine but an hour of stillness and quiet is just too much for her.
She falls asleep in my arms every night and I wake up to her smiling face every morning. Life is good.

Our first six months have been all about getting to know each other and finding our groove together and it's been great. But now I think I am ready to introduce more into her world and I think she is ready for it too. I have her signed up for swimming lessons starting in Sept. and she will start church school in Sept too. I think I also want to get her into some kind of dance as she loves it so much. Our lives are about to get busier but it all sound wonderful.

Fun times

Hannah and I had a photo session and I finally got the CD so will post a few of my favorite pictures--I just love her different expressions on these.








Two nights ago Hannah and I were doing arts and crafts--she was cutting pieces of construction paper and putting stickers on them. It was a child's safety scissors that she was using. I left the table for a few minutes to check on the dinner I was cooking and when I came back I found long pieces of black hair on the floor. I think I did inhale deeply and say "Oh Hannah, your hair" but then composed myself and remained very calm. She was so proud of herself so I just explained that scissors were just for hair and then put the scissors away for the day. It made me sad to see the shorter hair where she cut it but logically I know it is just hair and it will grow back. I haved already been able to laugh when telling the story.



This afternoon we were in the car and playing the "What does a cow say" game. We had exhausted a whole list of animals so I decided to ask "What does Mama say?" I was a little nervous what I would hear but Hannah didn't miss a beat and said "Pray to God, be nice, and no fussing". I guess she does listen.

Two good friends with young children recommended the movie "Discpicable Me" so I took Hannah tonight. I have to admit I wasn't too impressed in the beginning as the main characters talked about stealing and hit each other, blew each other up, and all the adults were mean to the kids, etc. but decided to stick it out a little longer as I heard it had a really great story. About 30 minutes into it (I still didn't see the nice part) Hannah turned to me and said, "Hannah done with this movie Mom". I asked if she wanted to go home and she said Yes so we did. When we got to the car she said, "That big movie naughty Mom". I was actually pretty proud of her as she knows bad behavior when she sees it.

I felt like a bad mommy today--it was sprinkler day at day care today and I forgot Hannah's swimming suit. They had extra t-shirts and underwear at daycare so Hannah had to play in the sprinkler in her underwear but I guess she didn't mind.
Maybe some day I will figure this being organized thing out but then again--maybe not.