Thursday, May 6, 2010

Adjustment going well--mostly

Just finishing my fourth week of work. Overall it has gone remarkably well but has of course been an adjustment for both of us.

Hannah is amazing as always. She seemed to genuinely enjoy daycare from day one. She adjusted to the new morning routine so easily and has never been a problem to get going in the morning. She always wakes up happy and is quite talkative and fun on the way to school. In the beginning she just turned to me, said Good-bye and started playing. She mostly played by herself and just watched the other kids and the teacher reported that she was happy and cooperative but quiet. She seemed happy to see me at the end of the day.
Now….She is still easy and fun to get up with in the morning and we have fun on the way to school but she is getting clingy once we get there. We drive into the parking lot and she says “School, Yay” and walks right into her room but doesn’t want me to leave. I think she likes being there but just wants me to stay too. Even though she is clingy she still goes pretty easily, it just takes a little distraction and about 5 good-byes.
She starts playing with the other kids right away and the teacher now reports she is still happy and cooperative but also very talkative and energetic--much like at home. Not much else to report as we haven’t done much else besides work and school--we are both ready to spend our time at home in the evenings and weekends.

My adjustment seems like it is harder than Hannah’s. The morning routine has worked well for me also and I am happy with Hannah’s daycare so that part is good. I am secretly a little happy that she is clingy and doesn’t want me to leave because I want to be that important to her.--maybe that makes me selfish but it’s the truth. I don’t like leaving her and can really tell that our time together is shorter but I have enjoyed being back at work. In my ideal world I could do my job and work part time but that is not the case. The hardest adjustment for me has been my role at work. I have worked in my same area for over 20 years and have been one of the “experts” for quite a while. My work has always been important to me and I put a lot of myself and my time into it. I am now putting a lot of myself into it but am not putting as much time--I am actually leaving on time every day so that I am not leaving Hannah for any longer than I have to. This is fully supported by my boss and coworkers and I am so glad I can do that but………I just can’t be involved in everything that is happening I can’t jump in to fix things for everyone else, and I have to delegate more. I am struggling with the feeling of being less important at work than I used to be. I know it is just my personal feelings and I need to adjust my thinking and I will because I am so happy with my home life but it just hit me harder than I thought it would. I really know that I am replaceable at work now but…………I am not replaceable in Hannah’s life so I shouldn’t need anymore than that. I did get tomorrow morning off work to attend my first Mother’s Day tea at Hannah’s daycare. Should be fun for both of us.

I do find that I am more relaxed. All the little personal conflicts at work don’t bother me as much and I don’t get involved in them because I don’t have the time and frankly they just aren’t important. That has been a good effect. I also am much more relaxed in housekeeping. It makes me fear the thought of unexpected guests dropping by but it is totally worth it when I am playing, laughing, or dancing with Hannah instead of vacuuming or dusting. She is willing to help with chores and does but I want to do funner things with her.

More about Hannah:
She keeps getting cuter every day
I finally got her to eat some vegetables
She loves her Grandma and cousins
She freely gives me hugs and says “I love you so much”
English is coming along--I can understand a lot of what she says but others can’t too good yet.
She can sing her ABC’s, count to 20, and knows most of her nightly prayers
She sometimes is shy and hides behind my leg and sometimes is very outgoing
She loves the park, her baby dolls, pretty ponies, and Disney princess movies
She is very particular about her shoes and which ones go with which outfits--more than me.

We are going to my mom’s this weekend to spend Mother’s Day. My mom has been here a couple times but it will be Hannah’s first time at Grandma’s house so Grandma is excited--should be fun.


Cameron and Kyle said...

Love your update. Been thinking about you both.

Margaret and Tom said...

Happy Mother's Day to you M! I hope you have a great day with your great girl and your mom!

Kimberly said...

Happy Mother's Day to you Mary! Enjoy!
Life sounds wonderful!

Irishdrums said...

Was looking forward to a new update. Thanks for sharing Mary. Glad to hear things are continuing to move along smoothly for the most part. Keeping you both in our prayers. Love you.

Lou Ann said...

Happy First Mother's Day Mary!! It sounds like things have been going very well overall. And I had the same problem going back to work. It's a strange adjustment but I soon found I didn't care about work and would much rather just spend all my time with Lexie. It's hard when you've waited so long and then end up with a dream child. I'm sure you'll work it out in your head. It sounds like your heart is doing just fine.

Lou Ann & Lexie too

Tammy said...

First of all, Happy Mother's Day! It's beautiful, isn't it??

It sounds like things are going very well, all things considered. Don't feel bad about wishing you were more important at work. Our lives/feelings/personalities don't stop just because we become a mother.

Hope you enjoyed your weekend at grandma's!!

lisa said...

Hi Mary! I think what u are going thru sounds perfectly normal. You have a wonderful life outside of work for a change. How I envy you and am so happy that it is going so well and that you are so in love with life!! I guess they were right when they said all the past troubles just melt away when u have your child home.

Happy late mothers day Mary!!

Kelly and Sne said...

Happy belated Mothers Day! Glad to hear that Hannah is doing so well and adjusting to her routine. I am with you on all fronts related to the work-family balance. I don't think I could stay home fulltime but I really wish that Miras didn't have to go to school 5 full days per week. And I've had to cut way back on my 50-60 hour weeks as well. It used to concern me but whenever I get too focused on my career I remind myself of what is MOST important and that Miras will only be young once. I am planning on taking the full 3 months of unpaid FMLA this time as we get ready to travel for #2 which will put me at home for at least 2 months after the trip (last time I went back to work 2-3 weeks after getting home). I am encouraging Sne to do the same.

Aaron and Julie said...

What a great update :) I hope that you had a great first Mother's Day!!! Very, very special :) Hannah is doing so many things, but my favorite one to read about is freely giving you hugs and telling you that she loves you. Melts the heart :)

I continue to struggle with work in similar respects. It is a control issue for me - I'm used to having all of it. And now I can't. I finally (after 2 years) gave up doing it all myself and everyone is happier. But it was a process, that is for sure.