Wednesday, September 24, 2008

New Plan

Hi all,
I have to say Thanks--I was so overwhelmed with the response to my blog going private--it is so comforting to know there are that many people out there to offer support and follow along--I am certainly not alone with this journey.

Many of you have asked--So where did you decide to adopt from?
I have started the process with a new agency and they will use some information from my old homestudy/dossier so that getting things ready will go a little quicker than the first time.
I don't have to commit yet but I am 99% sure that my country will be Russia--that is what I am working on.
It is basically like starting over and it will be a long haul again but I feel a little smarter and I feel pretty comfortable with this program. Of course I did with Kazakhstan also when I started so I realize that anything can happen but I just feel like I will be bringing a daughter home.

It feels really good to have some hope again--August was a really sad month as I struggled with all the emotions of a failed adoption attempt. It still is hard to get too excited because I know what can happen but I feel like I have something to hope in again.
I know alot of my friends struggled also or are still struggling with the same issues. I can only say that I pray for you and I hope that you find your hope also.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Song to my Child

I haven't figured out how to put music on my blog yet but this song of Elton John's is just what I want to say to my child that is out there somewhere.

Hey you, you're a child in my head
You haven't walked yet
Your first words have yet to be said
But I swear you'll be blessed

I know you're still just a dream
your eyes might be green
Or the bluest that I've ever seen
Anyway you'll be blessed

And you, you'll be blessed
You'll have the best
I promise you that
I'll pick a star from the sky
Pull your name from a hat
I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that
You'll be blessed

I need you before I'm too old
To have and to hold
To walk with you and watch you grow
And know that you're blessed

Thursday, September 11, 2008

It's official

I knew today was coming but I got the official phone call today that said my dossier was returned and they actually had it back in St. Louis. Until today I could hold out a small glimmer of hope but now it's official--my Kazakhstan adoption journey has ended.

I do have a new plan in the works and I am hoping that it works out much better. Now that I know what kind of things can happen, it is even more scary than the first time. Starting the wait over is going to be the hardest part--I am ready to have a child home now.
I have seen many others have difficulties and changes along the way in their adoption journeys and they all say that in the end when they got their child, they knew why all the waits happened because they knew they met "their" child and it all worked out to be a perfect match. I am holding on to this thought as I go forward. I have faith that God has something good planned for me.

I have decided to make my blog private as I continue on this journey. If you would like an invitation please leave me a comment with your email address and I will send out the invite.
I have had so much great support from other Kaz parents (and a few from other countries)--I hope to keep you all in my corner. Thanks everyone.

Friday, September 5, 2008

All about Mom and Dad

No adoption news yet.
Just wanted to talk about the 50th Wedding Anniversary party--It was a huge success.
My parents were so happy that day and everything turned out beautifully.
The weather was great, the food was good, my sister made this awesome video of our family that started when my parents were babies.
We had about 200 quests and all had a good time.
All in all I would say we threw a smashingly successful bash.

The smaller after-party party at my Brother's house was equally as fun. It was just immediate family and a few very close friends--very casual and enjoyable. This is where the beer came out and the bonfire was built--fireworks even went off.

The next morning we all went to church and sat together in the front--taking up seven pews!! The Priest did a very nice special blessing of my parents and included them in his homily. It was pretty cool.

After church we all piled into about 5 cars and went to the photographer where we had a complete family picture--all 30 of us were there. Our last professional family picture was 27 years ago so we were due.

It is times like this that make me realize what a great family I have.
Okay--one mention of adoption--I can't wait to bring a child into this family!

Me with my parents

My niece Emily wearing Mom's wedding dress

My niece Kristin wearing Mom's "going away" dress

Emily in the bridesmaids dress my aunt wore and Kristin in Mom's wedding dress

A couple days after the party, my Dad came back to Rochester and ended up in the hospital again. This time with pneumonia and an infection in his blood. Maybe the party wore him out but he wouldn't have changed it or missed it for the world.

He is still in the hospital here and slowly improving. He will need to remain on IV therapy for about three more weeks so we are looking at getting him transferred closer to home for that. I hope this long term therapy finally clears his infections and gives him the boost he needs to start getting well.