Friday, August 15, 2008

It's been a bad day

Yesterday we got bad news about the Kazakhstan program.

The Committee of Child's Rights Protection, in Astana, has informed all agency representatives of a new policy change regarding gender request. Effective immediately, any dossiers that have requested a specific gender, and have not yet been assigned to a region, will be returned with no exceptions. In their own words, "All children are equal and have equal rights for family and happiness!"
Unfortunately, this will mean that dossiers that are resubmitted will have to go through the Kazakhstan Embassy in Washington D.C.


I was totally crushed. My dossier has been in Kazakhstan since Sept. but no region assignment yet so this was the news I had been dreading--that some change would come along and kick me out of the program. I totally agree that all children are created equal and deserve loving homes and I would gladly take any child however 18 months ago I was told to request exactly what I preferred--I have done everything that has been asked along this journey and now I feel as if I am being punished for doing something that I didn't even know was wrong. If only we could change our dossiers and stay in place at the MOE--why do we have to start over????? I don't know what to think anymore--I am just very sad.

26 comments:

Harmondk2 said...

We are right with you.

The sadness touches the deepest part of my soul. I feel lifeless…

I completely agree with your posting and also a bit frustrated with how adopting parents must jump through hoops. I have spent all day thinking this over and over. The one piece of info I need is clear confirmation that our dossier is not in a region. I guess it will take knowing that CHI has the physical paper work in hand.

I have been hearing "things happen for a reason" - I'm sorry, but in this moment in time it’s very difficult to see the silver lining. I guess time will tell.

Take care and please keep us posted on your direction.

The Harmons

qmiller said...

Mary: So sorry to see the news...seems an unfair rule to apply to dossiers that are already in Kaz. I hope that you hear news rapidly from your agency to further clarify your positon. Godspeed on your journey!
Quaintance

John & Jenny Morgan said...

I am so, so sorry about this new delelopment and the additional delays that may result. I just don't understand the way things are done sometimes.
Thinking of you,
Jenny

Noah and Josh's Mom said...

Mary,
I am so so sad for you right now. I know there are no words of encouragement that will help you at this time but I am praying for you and all the people touched by this new development.

Hugs,
Kim

Thad & Ann said...

oh Mary, I am SO sad for you, this is awful awful news. ughhh!! Each child deserves a home BUT by doing this the Kaz gov. is making these kids wait even longer.
Hugs

Harmondk2 said...

Thanks for your reply. With all the uncertainty, we are most likely going to go domestic. Also, I think we may use an attorney. I just feel like we need more people going to bat for us. I truly believe CHI does all they can, but of course their hands are tied at some point. Either way, please keep in touch with us and know you are in our minds and heart. Try and stay strong.

Kari and Danny

Stephany said...

Just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you. I can only imagine your frustration...

Chris and Gretchen said...

That is terrible news. I am so sorry for you and all the other families that this will affect. This just doesn't make any sense. ((hugs))

Matthew and Suzanne said...

I am so so so so sorry to hear this, Shocked, really. Its funny because I wondered why I didn't specify a boy on our dossier (regarding 1 child() because not specifying meant a boy. Oh so so so so so sad.You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Angela said...

Oh, Mary. I just don't know what to say other than I keep looking at these blog entries in disbelief. This is unfair and I am sorry that you have another hurdle. I hope something works out here - I really, really, really do.

JaneMM said...

Mary,

I also share your pain and frustration. My dossier is at the MFA with a specific gender. I was perfectly calm and stable waiting patiently as everyone told me that it takes time, perhaps a long time for adoption to happen. Now I feel as if my heart has been ripped out. I don't know if I can pray any more, but my thoughts are with you and everyone as we face this new challenge.

Jane

My email jmm205@verizon.net

lisa said...

Maybe there is still hope as no other agencies seem to have any knowledge of this "gender" issue!

the regentins said...

Mary,
This is devastating news to many families.....I am so so sad for all the families affected at this point....I will pray that you will get some encouraging news!! Our thoughts are with you! Be strong.

Karen said...

I don't understand it. And I feel so bad for you. It seems so unfair for people like you who have played by the rules and then to have this happen. You should've been grandfathered in. I just wonder if they're being unindated with dossiers and this is just another excuse to push things back.

Mary: I'm so sorry and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen said...

I don't understand it. And I feel so bad for you. It seems so unfair for people like you who have played by the rules and then to have this happen. You should've been grandfathered in. I just wonder if they're being unindated with dossiers and this is just another excuse to push things back.

Mary: I'm so sorry and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

The Gobble's (Lanetta) said...

Mary,
My heart practically stopped beating when I opened your blog and read your entry.. OH MY GOSH... surely not?!?!?!
WHY???? ok... so I have not heard a WORD from my agency about this... so maybe that's good news... and you'll hear differently... or maybe that's bad news for me.. and I'll hear something soon... oh my gosh...
Praying for you.. and EVERYONE involved... I KNOW it's so hard sometimes... and I can't imagine how you must feel having been waiting SO long... we are in this with you... crying, praying, screaming, and praying some more... hang tight... we'll get to those babies soon...
:-(
Lanetta

Aaron & Julie said...

Mary -
Thank you for the sweet comments - I jumped over to your blog to see how you were doing and upon reading the news my heart is so very heavy for you and all affected by this policy change. I am so very sorry. Know that I am standing by you in thought & prayer and sending a big hug your way. I am so very sad for you right now and praying that the Lord will send some encouragement your way.

Blessings & hugs,
Julie

Kelly and Sne said...

I am so sorry to hear about this change and the fact that it may affect you in the process. Our translator in Semey told us "well, the MOE will be meeting in August and who knows what other changes they will make to amuse themselves." Everybody there is just dismayed by these changes too that don't seem to make any sense and certainly don't benefit the children. Well, I hope that this seems worse than it will actually be for you...

Katie said...

I am very sorry that this is happening I am currently in the MFA as well, I have not heard anything from my agency, and will let you know if I hear anything! Good luck to you and stay positive, it doesn't sound like anything has truly happened yet, all anyone has recieve is an email- hang in there!!! Katie http://www.katie-familymemories.blogspot.com/

Suzanne said...

Oh my God! This is absurd! I mean, sure they can decide to not honor gender requests if they choose to. But why kick everyone out who made one? Why not just assign referrals of any gender to those who have already been waiting so long? Their decision seems meant to punish people who made a choice in the first place (as you were told to do). It's mean spirited! It's just awful. It sucks!!

I'm so sorry Mary, and all the others this is affecting. My heart is aching for you all.

Suzanne

Alysa said...

So sorry to hear this has happened, especially when you are so far in the process. It is very unfair to those with dossiers already in Kaz. I hope this can be resolved in your favor, but in either case, my heart goes out to you.

Joby and Marla said...

Saying that I am so sorry seems to be so inadequate. I am struggling with the reasoning behind all of this. I know there are so many children in Kaz that need a family. Why couldn't you just change your homestudy & go back in line since you have been waiting so long.

I know from the last 6 years of trying to add to our family that sometimes there is a bigger picture than what we can see. It doesn't make your heartache any easier. I know! I have been there in a different way. I just hold onto the hope that one day when I look back I will see the reasoning behind all of it. You will have the child that is meant to be your child. I just wish that it wasn't so difficult for you!!!!

I am thinking about you.

Chrissy and Russell said...

Mary, I'm so, so, so sorry about this latest turn of events. There's one thing I've learned in 3 years of trying (unsuccessfully) to adopt: there really are no words that one can offer to someone whose heart is breaking. Please just know that there are lots of us out here who are supporting you. Hugs to you .... Chrissy

Karen & Glenn said...

Mary, we are so sorry that you have been impacted by this news. Know that we are still out here following your story, and praying for a resolution for you and for all of the other families who have been caught up in this new information. We are so sorry for your pain.

Anonymous said...

Mary,
I am so crushed for you. I just can't believe how much it's changed. Hold tight to God. He loves you and cares deeply for you AND your child. I'll be praying for you!!

Ali Heglund

Anonymous said...

Time for a new agency. As of Sept 15, 2008, Kaz will require both the adoption agency AND homestudy agency to be Hague accredited. The only worthwile agencies for Kaz are Hague Accredited Little Miracles or World Partners which is partnering with Hague Accredited International Adoption Guides. Both send dossiers through the NY consulate, not the DC embassy.

Good luck.
Beth T. in Austin