Attachment and Love is an active process and evolves (changes) over time.
In the beginning Hannah would say "I love you" in response to me saying it. I am sure it was at least in part because she knew that was what was expected.
After starting Daycare and hanging with her little friends I started getting big hugs and smiles with a very sincere "I like you Mom". This felt so good because it was so sincere and I knew that in her world "I like you" was the highest compliment and meant I really like to spend time with you.
Then at some point Hannah started saying "I love you" spontaneously without me saying it first. As monumental as this is and for wonderful it feels you would think I would remember the first time but...sad to say I don't.
Lately she has been very generous with her "I love you"s to me. She frequently reaches her hand out to me or slides up to me and then gives me a big smile, says "I love you" and follows it with a hug.
I am in heaven!!!!!
This past week on vacation Hannah played hard with her cousins and three other nice kids they met at the resort. They had wonderful fun and Hannah seemed to hardly notice me but she definitely noticed when I wasn't right around and she hollered for me when she was hungry, needed to go potty, or needed help in general. I guess that is the role of a Mother.
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4 comments:
<3 <3 Sweet post. Thanks for sharing.
great post :-) so true, you blink, and they grow up.... xoxo Erin
Don't feel bad about not remembering the first time Hannah spontaneously said, "I love you". Zachary has recently starting doing this and you're right, it really is the BEST feeling in the world. But for all our struggles, you would think I would remember it or have it documented somewhere, right? I don't have a clue. But each and every time he says it, I am sure it feels just as good as the first time!
When I look back I am still amazed at how long real deep trusting love takes to form even between parent and child. And I can never quite put my finger on when it happened but it feels great when you finally realize it. In reading your previous posts, it sounds like Hannah was there before she had the words to tell you.
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