Attachment and Love is an active process and evolves (changes) over time.
In the beginning Hannah would say "I love you" in response to me saying it. I am sure it was at least in part because she knew that was what was expected.
After starting Daycare and hanging with her little friends I started getting big hugs and smiles with a very sincere "I like you Mom". This felt so good because it was so sincere and I knew that in her world "I like you" was the highest compliment and meant I really like to spend time with you.
Then at some point Hannah started saying "I love you" spontaneously without me saying it first. As monumental as this is and for wonderful it feels you would think I would remember the first time but...sad to say I don't.
Lately she has been very generous with her "I love you"s to me. She frequently reaches her hand out to me or slides up to me and then gives me a big smile, says "I love you" and follows it with a hug.
I am in heaven!!!!!
This past week on vacation Hannah played hard with her cousins and three other nice kids they met at the resort. They had wonderful fun and Hannah seemed to hardly notice me but she definitely noticed when I wasn't right around and she hollered for me when she was hungry, needed to go potty, or needed help in general. I guess that is the role of a Mother.
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Hi family and friends and fellow bloggers. I invite you all to read along as I take this journey to Motherhood. I attempted a Kazakhstan adoption that was not meant to be and then started over with a Russian adoption. I have now met my amazing daughter and am very happy. I am accepting any prayers you can send my way as I begin my new life as a mother. Please feel free to leave me any comments or questions by clicking on the comments link at the end of each post.
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My Timeline
11-27-2006--Made decision
Dec. 2006--Jan. 2007 researched agencies
2-1-2007--Applied to CHI's Kazakhstan program
2-13-2007--accepted into CHI Kazakhstan program
2-26-2007 to 5-1-2007 homestudy
5-28-2007--received I-171H
7-20-2007--mailed complete dossier to CHI
Not sure of dates for consulate and translation
10-19-2007--dossier registered at MOFA in Kazakhstan
11-18-2007--started my blog
11-30-2007--dossier registered at MOE
9-11-2008--received word that my dossier was returned from Kaz
9-22-2008--Started application process to new agency for Russia Program.
October 2008--attended required Preadoption classes
Dec. 29 2008--1st homestudy visit
Jan. 8 2009--2nd homestudy visit and approval granted
Jan. 28 2009--recieved region assignment and revised I-171H with country change to Russia
Feb. 6 2009--sent in dossier part 1 to agency
Feb. 10 2009--Dossier part 1 sent to Russia!
Oct. 6 2009--received THE CALL--I have been referred a daughter.
Oct. 8 2009--said yes to referral
Oct. 9 2009--received travel dates for Trip 1
Oct. 26, 2009--left for first trip to Krasnoyarsk
Oct. 28, 2009--Met my daughter for the first time!!
Oct. 31, 2009--signed petition to court to adopt my daughter.
Nov. 1, 2009--returned home from first trip
Dec. 29, 2009--Got the call that I had a court date
Jan. 13, 2010--Leave for 2nd trip
Jan. 15, 2010--8 MD medical exam in Moscow
Jan. 19, 2010--successful court--I AM A MOM!
Jan 30, 2010--Hannah came to be with me forever!
Feb. 6, 2010--We arrived HOME!!!!!!!!
Dec. 2006--Jan. 2007 researched agencies
2-1-2007--Applied to CHI's Kazakhstan program
2-13-2007--accepted into CHI Kazakhstan program
2-26-2007 to 5-1-2007 homestudy
5-28-2007--received I-171H
7-20-2007--mailed complete dossier to CHI
Not sure of dates for consulate and translation
10-19-2007--dossier registered at MOFA in Kazakhstan
11-18-2007--started my blog
11-30-2007--dossier registered at MOE
9-11-2008--received word that my dossier was returned from Kaz
9-22-2008--Started application process to new agency for Russia Program.
October 2008--attended required Preadoption classes
Dec. 29 2008--1st homestudy visit
Jan. 8 2009--2nd homestudy visit and approval granted
Jan. 28 2009--recieved region assignment and revised I-171H with country change to Russia
Feb. 6 2009--sent in dossier part 1 to agency
Feb. 10 2009--Dossier part 1 sent to Russia!
Oct. 6 2009--received THE CALL--I have been referred a daughter.
Oct. 8 2009--said yes to referral
Oct. 9 2009--received travel dates for Trip 1
Oct. 26, 2009--left for first trip to Krasnoyarsk
Oct. 28, 2009--Met my daughter for the first time!!
Oct. 31, 2009--signed petition to court to adopt my daughter.
Nov. 1, 2009--returned home from first trip
Dec. 29, 2009--Got the call that I had a court date
Jan. 13, 2010--Leave for 2nd trip
Jan. 15, 2010--8 MD medical exam in Moscow
Jan. 19, 2010--successful court--I AM A MOM!
Jan 30, 2010--Hannah came to be with me forever!
Feb. 6, 2010--We arrived HOME!!!!!!!!
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4 comments:
<3 <3 Sweet post. Thanks for sharing.
great post :-) so true, you blink, and they grow up.... xoxo Erin
Don't feel bad about not remembering the first time Hannah spontaneously said, "I love you". Zachary has recently starting doing this and you're right, it really is the BEST feeling in the world. But for all our struggles, you would think I would remember it or have it documented somewhere, right? I don't have a clue. But each and every time he says it, I am sure it feels just as good as the first time!
When I look back I am still amazed at how long real deep trusting love takes to form even between parent and child. And I can never quite put my finger on when it happened but it feels great when you finally realize it. In reading your previous posts, it sounds like Hannah was there before she had the words to tell you.
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