Thursday, September 11, 2008

It's official

I knew today was coming but I got the official phone call today that said my dossier was returned and they actually had it back in St. Louis. Until today I could hold out a small glimmer of hope but now it's official--my Kazakhstan adoption journey has ended.

I do have a new plan in the works and I am hoping that it works out much better. Now that I know what kind of things can happen, it is even more scary than the first time. Starting the wait over is going to be the hardest part--I am ready to have a child home now.
I have seen many others have difficulties and changes along the way in their adoption journeys and they all say that in the end when they got their child, they knew why all the waits happened because they knew they met "their" child and it all worked out to be a perfect match. I am holding on to this thought as I go forward. I have faith that God has something good planned for me.

I have decided to make my blog private as I continue on this journey. If you would like an invitation please leave me a comment with your email address and I will send out the invite.
I have had so much great support from other Kaz parents (and a few from other countries)--I hope to keep you all in my corner. Thanks everyone.

43 comments:

Jeff said...

Mary,

I'm so sorry that this has happened. Please know that I will continue to keep you in my prayers as you enter into this next phase of your journey.

If it's not too much trouble, I would love to be added to your invite list. In case you've already forgotten, my email address is jeff.morris@childrenshope.net.

Again, good luck to you.

<><

Michelle and Jeff said...

Mary,
I hope that you can add me to your list, I would love to follow you on your new journey. I have followed your blog for so long with you Kaz adoption and am sad to see you leave the program, though I understand! My email is m (underscore) wehmeyer (at) hotmail (dot) com
Thanks,
Michelle

Chris and Gretchen said...

So sorry to hear this Mary. I would love to continue on with you.
bilbro at comcast.net

gretchen

JaneMM said...

Mary,

I also was given the official information from Jeff today. At this point I do not know
exactly what my path will be. My thoughts are with you. Please include me on your invite list. Thank you.

Jane MC

jmm205@verizon.net

Anonymous said...

Mary - I would like to be invited to your blog! You have my email. My prayers for your journey continue.
pam dietz

Pamela said...

Mary, so sorry this is happening to you. This whole adoption thing is not for the faint of heart. I admire your persistance.

I'd love to continue to have access to your blog once it goes private. pnallen37 @ yahoo . com (without the spaces)

Pamela

John & Jenny Morgan said...

I would like to follow the journey, wherever it takes you, to your child. I hope that this new path is free of obstacle!

Yhinking of you,
John, Jenny, and Roxana
--jennyandjohn@bellsouth.net--

Baby Kaz Moore said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I'm not sure any words I say can make you feel better, but please do know that I send you best wishes for reaching your dreams. I'd love to follow along on your new journey and cheer for you. Susan from Austin smooretexan@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Mary,

We were so close to getting that good phone call, but we'll be that close again soon. I'll always have a place in my heart for Kazakhstan and I know you will too. But there are children waiting elsewhere for their forever moms. I'd love to keep in touch with you so I can share your joy on Gotcha Day. I'll send you my home e-mail if you don't have it.

Andrea Murphy

Harmondk2 said...

Hi Mary,

Much like others, I am so sorry to read these words on your blog. Please know that we support you and know this WILL happen. I would love to stay informed of your journey. We can also share photos of our little ones once that day arrives.
Kari and Danny Harmon
harmondk2@verizon.net

Brad and Stacy said...

Oh my, So soryy!! I hope you still want to be a part of Two Hearts!! We are all praying for you, add me to your list.
Stacy
bssegebarth@aol.com

Julian and Sara Yeomans said...

We are sorry to hear your news. We too would love to be a part of your new journey once your blog goes private. The wait is hard, as you already know. Waiting with blog friends makes it a little bit easier.

Sara
yeomans_sara@yahoo.ca

Lori said...

Mary,
I am so sorry that this happened. I would really like to follow as you continue your journey, wherever it leads you. If you send my your e-mail I will also send you an invite to my blog.

Lori
strob06@sbcglobal.net

RockiBottom said...

I am very sorry. I know that even though you were expecting this that it is still very hard. I hope you find peace and that your journey leads you to wherever your child is.

i would love an invite when you go private
juryfamilyadoption @ yahoo.com

Rose said...

Hi Mary,

I am so sorry to hear this news. Knowing it's coming still doesn't prepare you for when it actually does. Please invite me to read your blog. I know you have my email address!!

Rose

Suzanne said...

Mary, this news is sad, but it also sounds like you're also seeing it as a new beginning. I dearly want to follow this next leg of your journey, so please include me on your invite list: suztango@yahoo.com

Hugs-
Suzanne
straightdownthemountain.blogspot.com

Noah and Josh's Mom said...

I am so sorry that this happened to you but I am hopeful God will lead you to your child. I would love to continue to follow your journey to motherhood.

Kim
Kimmertek@aol.com

Tiffany Birt said...

Mary,
I have followed your blog -please include me in your invite when you go private. tjb9405@aol.com.
thanks
Tiffany

Sandi said...

Mary,
I am so sorry that your journey to kaz has ended this way. I can only hope that your new journey will lead you to your child.

I would love to continue following your journey.

Sandi
wattie21@cfl.rr.com

tom & susan said...

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. We are in very similar circumstances and have decided to give it one more try with another agency.
I would love to follow along as you make your next decisons. Thanks and good luck to us both.

susanfoster1016@yahoo.com

Shanna said...

Mary,

I am so sorry that your journey to Kaz has ended. As you said, you may not understand it all now but once you hold YOUR child, it will all begin to make sense. The wait is long and hard but the memories of it don't linger once you hold your child.

I would love to continue following you on your journey to motherhood.

Shanna
wilisons@joimail.com

Andrea said...

I'm so sorry, Mary. I am sure this change in events will only lead you to the child you are eant to parent, but I imagine the wait has been/will be very hard. Hang in there! Your little on is out there somwhere!

I'd love to continue to follow your journey.

Andrea
adoptinglily@gmail.com

Andrea said...

Mary,

I am so sorry to hear this. I am thinking of you and would like to continue your journey.

Andrea
adoptinglily@gmail.com

marianne said...

Mary, I have been following your journey. My heart goes out to you. I, too, would love to follow your next chapter in finding your son or daughter. Best wishes
Marianne Zeun
mzeun@cox.net

Joby and Marla said...

Please send me an invite. I would love to continue on with you & your journey.
I am so sorry!!!! You are in my thoughts & prayers.
Marla
obxcowgirl@earthlink.net

Allison said...

Mary,

My prayers are being sent your way! I would like to continue to follow your journey. saeevaughan@comcast.net

~Allison

Matthew and Suzanne said...

I am so sad and sorry to hear this news. Please send me an invite to your blog. I send you a big hug. Words cannot express how sad I am for you.

lisa said...

Mary...you know how I feel.....I cried for you last night....I just am devastated. I know that there is a little soul out there with your name on it......both our little souls are probably talking about it now, trying to figure out when they will meet again.
Your friend,
Lisa

KazAdventurers said...

I am really sorry to hear about this part of the journey ending, and I hope that as you begin again, things will go better this time and lead you to your child. I truly believe that will happen, and I wish you all the best.
I would love to follow along with you.

Lisa
ukfanlcj at insightbb.com

Karen said...

Somehow words don't seem to suffice but I am so sorry Mary that your journey to Kaz has ended here. You have handled this heartache with a deal of grace. I admire your courage to continue on. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you change paths. I'd also be honored to follow you on your journey. Please add me to your invite list.

Warmly,
Karen
karen_pere@yahoo.com

Jennifer M said...

Hi Mary,

I'm sorry that your dossier was kicked back, and that your journey to Kaz is over. That makes me sad too, for you.

I wish you the very best in your new journey, and I would love to follow along.

Jennifer
munchkinquest@gmail.com

Kelly and Sne said...

Mary, I am so sorry that this has happened. You must be crushed after all of the waiting and effort so far. But I hope this new plan means that you are not giving up. I am sure that another agency can get you in country a lot faster and smoother than CHI could. It is all worth it in the end. I would like to continue to follow along on Plan B. Please send an invitation to altansky@yahoo.com. All of best, Kelly

Angela said...

Mary,

I wish things had not happened this way. You remain in my thoughts. I would love to follow along on your next journey - areinoehl(at)yahoo(dot)com.

All my best,
Angela

Jaimie & Gena said...

Hope I am not to late to be included. www.jaimiegena@yahoo.com We are routing for you! I believe you will make this a success! Gena, Jaimie and Berik

Alysa said...

I am so sorry that Kaz isn't where you will find your child. I wish you all the best as you take a different path.

I would love to continue following along. My email is bc4alysa@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

We have been following your blog and were so sorry to hear that your dossier has been returned. We are currently in process and keep waiting for the change that will change things for us too. I would love to keep following your journey. My email is: jbenjaminchase@yahoo.com.

Best Wishes!

Misty Clark said...

Mary - I'm sorry to hear that your dossier was returned. I would love to be able to follow your blog. Best of luck to you and we'll keep in touch!

Anonymous said...

I also have been followiong your blog and am very sorry that this has happened to you.

We never know why things happen but we do know that they happen for a reason. We had a referral of a baby girl last Dec. and lost the referal, but within a few weeks we got a new referal and couldn't be happier. We brought Madison home this past April and she is just a living doll and a living dream that has come true.

I would love to continue with your story, so if it's not to much trouble I'd love to be invited to your blog. My email is jbayliff@rochester.rr.com

Best of luck to you,
Jackie~

Aaron & Julie said...

Mary,

I am sorry to hear that the finality of it has occurred. I am praying, crying with and hoping for you. I would like to continue to follow your journey, please include me.

Blessings & hugs,
Julie

The Gobble's (Lanetta) said...

Mary,

we are also so sorry that this has happened to you and can't imagine what you are feeling.... we are praying for you and would love to follow your new journey

Lanetta Gobble
lanettagobble@yahoo.com

Katie said...

Mary I am so sorry that this is happened I will keep you in my prayers- I am sending you well wishes that you will find your little one soon! I would really like to continue to follow your journey my email is tiglilygirl@yahoo.com

Good luck to you- just remember you are not alone!!

qmiller said...

Mary: So sorry to read the news of your returned dossier...seems impossible to comprehend that it has been sitting in-country for so long and never had been assigned. How sad! I'm glad to see that you're moving forward with new plans, and would love to be included in your journey! Thanks and my prayers are with you.
Quaintance
qmiller@umich.edu

Christy said...

Mary,

How did I not know about your blog? I am so terribly sorry that I haven't been following along, and I am so thankful that you invited me!

My prayers are with you right now. Your faith is inspiring as right now would be the perfect time for you to question God, but it seems that your faith is bigger than that.

It is still crap though! I am so sorry that your dossier was sent back, your heart must just be aching!

I will be following along with much support, hope & faith in your new journey.

Christy