On to 1st Grade

If you remember, last year we were debating if Hannah should start Kindergarten or not and decided to challenge her and go ahead and move onto Kindergarten.
She has done well socially and with most subjects however, reading basics have come hard for her.  When meeting with her teacher mid way through the year, she recommended that we consider Hannah repeating Kindergarten as she was behind the other kids in reading basics.
So began the conflict in my mind--send her to 1st grade or repeat Kindergarten.  Of course I wanted to do what would be the best for Hannah but what would that be? On the one hand, it is better to hold a child back at a younger age because self esteem issues come later in years.  I have also heard people say that no one regrets holding thier child back.  But..on the other hand, I want her to move ahead with her friends, and I believe that she is still catching up and will get there eventually so is it better to challenge her?
I started working a little more with her at home and developed our own "homework" based on what they were learning at school and I could see first hand where her difficulties were.  I will admit that sometimes I was frustrated because I did not know how to teach her.  However we plugged away and I started to see some improvment but always wondered if it was enough.
Standardized testing at Hannah's current school showed that she was improving throughout the year but still lagged behind in some areas.
Her current school is a private kindergarten and does not have any higher grades so I planned on switching schools either way--that way, even if she repeated it would be new to her.
Again I researched schools and wanted to find the one that was the best fit for her and for our life.  I found a great school and am excited to be sending her there.  I started working with the principal there and we did the standard testing that they do for their own students at the end of kindergarten.  Again Hannah tested in the average range but had some areas that were lower.  The principal felt that all the deficits showing up on the testing could be handled in first grade.  I also met with her current teacher who felt that Hannah had made great strides during the second half of the year and she was confident with her going to first grade also soo.........I have a first grader.
Her new school worked with me already and I am hapy with our plan.  Hannah will receive tutoring in reading this summer from her new 1st grade teacher.  I think this is great for many reasons--it will help her reading skills, she will get to know her new teacher before the first day of school, and the sessions are conducted in her new school so the environment will be familiar to her before the first day of school.  She will then have this teacher next year and this teacher is the special reading teacher for the school so she will know Hannah's abilities and be able to help her right at her level.
Everyone at her current school and her new school have been so wonderful to work with.  I am very happy and confident with our plan for her education.
Still..there is a part of me that wonders if we will face this discussion every year and as she gets older it will be more difficult to hold her back for other reasons but I guess we will cross that bridge if we have to.
For now, we are getting ready to celebrate Kindergarten graduation.

Mother's Day 2012

Celebrating Mother's Day is very special to me--maybe because I waited 49 years to do it but maybe because I have a great Mother and a great daughter.

This year we spent the weekend at my Mom's house.
Well---Saturday we took my Mom to my brother's house and spent the day with them.  We watched Mary Lou's soccer games in the morning--they won both games and she was quite good.  One of Hannah's many highlights was getting donuts after the game.

We spent the rest of the day at Mike and Connie's place in the country.  They have Mary Lou (who is one year older than Hannah) and horses so it is one of Hannah's favorite places.  We grilled out for lunch--yum yum and Hannah got a horse back ride.  And the weather was unbelievably nice.  What a great day. At one point Hannah sat down next to me and sighed and said "I am having so much fun"

Mom had other plans Saturday evening so the rest of us went out to eat Sat. night and just had a good time being together.

Sunday was spent at Mom's.  We gave Mom a corsage to wear to church and Hannah was with us when we bought it so she picked one out for me as well.  It was my first time with a corsage on Mother's Day!
We made a great Lasagna meal for lunch and all of Steve's and Mike's families was there.  I just love being around family and Hannah does too.

On the drive back home, I asked her "What was your favorite part about this weekend and she said "Being with Mary Lou".  At night when getting ready for bed, I told Hannah that I had a great weekend with her at Grandma's.  She said, "Me too....You are the best Mommy in the whole universe....and...you dress pretty".  Oh my heart--I asked, "Why do you make me so happy?" and she replied, "Because I love you so much and I will stay with you forever!"

It was an awesome Mother's Day.

My new favorite song

Hannah loves to sing...but she does not sing songs that she has learned...she just sings...whatever is in her head..sometimes it makes sense..sometimes it doesn't..and usually I just love what she sings.
This morning driving to school, she was pretending that she was a Princess horse that could talk and sing and she was putting on a show for all the other talking horses..and this is the song she sang at her show....
"When I was a baby, I dropped out of my family..
and no-one saw me.
Then one day a new person came...
She was a beautiful Mommy and...
She picked me up to be in her family"
I had smiles and tears all at the same time but couldn't let on to Hannah because I wanted her to keep singing.

I know my place!

Nothing is as humbling or puts you in place like a child. All of these examples happened in the last week so I am feeling very humbled and on occasion, slightly miffed!

riding home in the car I started singing along with the radio and Hannah says, "Mom, can you just stop singing? I just want to listen to them." "Really Mom, I mean it." When I explained to her that I really liked singing along to the music that was playing she said, "Well, just turn it off then" Ouch!

While walking in the park "I don't care if you are fat Mom, really I don't". Gee, thanks Honey.

We were at a big park with a cool playground that is so fun to run around on--even for adults. I was following Hannah around on it and she stops and says "Can you go off here and just watch me? I don't want you to follow me" which really means--"Go sit by the other parent on the sidelines--you are cramping my style".

I asked Hannah to do something for me and she looked at me, put her hands on her hips, and said "remember Mom, we have a magic word. What is the magic word Mom?" I said "Please" and she replied, "Good job, I will be happy to....".

When leaving for work and school in the morning, Hannah wanted to stop and do something she thought was fun. I told her we needed to go and she could do that when we got home after school. She just hung her head and said, "But you will forget". Yes, honey I usually do.

when she was sitting on my lap snuggling before bed she covered her head with her blanket (as she often does to go to sleep). I said -- you know I don't like it when you cover up your face and she replied "But I don't want to smell your breath"

When I got up from eating our dinner (Hannah was already done and had been dismissed)I walked into the next room. Hannah followed me, "Umm--Mom, did you forget something?" I didn't have any idea what she was talking about until she pointed to the table--I hadn't picked up my dishes and put them in the sink. That is the rule in our house--you put your dishes in the sink when you are done.

Man--I can't get away with anything around this girl!!!

Then one moment like this makes all those others worth it--
Hannah--"Mom--even if I get angry at you or you get angry at me, you still love me and I still love you." I said "Yes that is right, We always love each other" and she replied "That's why we are family together forever!" with a big smile, hug, and even a kiss!

6 years old!!

Hannah's birthday fell on Easter this year--April 8th. I had the great idea to have my family come here to celebrate with us. I only have a 2 bedroom townhome but they could all stay at a hotel--we could celebrate Hannah's birthday Sat. night at the hotel with swimming and then have Easter dinner at my house. I ran it by my family and they all jumped on board--25 people coming to my house.
I worried about how it would all turn out--would I get the house cleaning done on time, could I fit everyone in for dinner, would I have enough food--too much food, etc. Everyone got here and with help from all of them the weekend was so good-- my brothers fixed up some things in my house that needed fixing, we had a great time at the hotel Saturday--good food, fun birthday party, fun swimming, we all made it to church on time, food got done on time, we had just the right amount, good weather so we could eat in the garage and have the egg hunt outside, and we had a great time. In Hannah's words "Easter is so fun".

We celebrated two major events--
Most important--the rising of our Savior Jesus Christ.
It was just a wonderful feeling to be sitting with so much family at church and sharing our faith together. The music was amazing and just seemed to fill my soul. Hannah was catching so much of what they were saying and singing and she asked me alot of questions about it. We had a few more whispered conversations than I usually like during church but it was all to help explain the meaning to her and answer her questions so I didn't mind. She was engaged. I always feel the awesomeness of Easter on this day and I wish I could keep that awareness all the time, every day.

The other big event of the weekend was Hannah's sixth birthday. I was really surprised at how emotional this birthday was for me. For some reason it just seemed like my little girl is getting too old. I couldn't stop looking at her. It was hard to say good-night on Saturday because I knew it was her last night as a five year old. I almost cried.
In the morning I woke up next to a six year old--it just sounds so grown up. The first thing I said to her was "Happy Birthday my big girl". I got a huge smile, a "Thank you Mama" and then a big hug. All was right with the world again.

Future Plans

Over the last week Hannah has told me at least four times that when she grows up she will be painting fingernails for other people--only girls, not boys. The boys can just sit and watch.
I have often thought of what Hannah could do in the future--be a nurse like me, be a doctor, teach school, run a company, design buildings, write stories, etc. but being a Manicurist never entered my mind. Just as long as she's happy.....

My Daughter and my Dad

Hannah seems to have this great love for my Dad. She talks about him a lot and has made up songs about him that usually are a variation of the following lyrics:
I Love my Grandpa
I really miss him
He is so nice
He is so good

She has frequently told me that she misses him and wishes she could see him.

Before I go farther, let me tell you that my Father passed away before I met Hannah. I did most of my preadoption education at his bedside in the hospital. We talked about the adoption and he was happy for me but he died before I got my homestudy done. Hannah knows that he lives in Heaven with God and that we can't see him but can talk to him whenever we want.

I was especially touched tonight.
Hannah was very talkative when I picked her up today but on the ride home she suddenly became silent for a long time. I turned around expecting to find her asleep but instead I saw a very sad looking girl with misty eyes and she said very quietly "I want my Grandpa". Choked me right up and I nearly cried myself but after a little silence we had a good conversation about my Dad.

The timing of my Dad's illnes and death was very hard for me and I knew that I would always wish that he and my daughter could have met. But..it seems that they have on some level and that makes me happy.