I just finished watching the TV special "A Home for the Holidays" hosted by Faith Hill who was adopted. The show highlighted children in foster care in the United States and the need for adoptive parents.
It really pulled at my heart and I found myself crying. The show itself was good--I am a Faith Hill fan so I liked it. I think it had a good message too but it was hard for me to watch. All this waiting and working through all phases of the process is just so hard and I was feeling sorry for myself as I saw those other families formed through adoption. I also felt sorry for the featured kids who wanted to be adopted and stated "It is hard to get adopted but I will keep trying". I have to ask myself again (as so many times in the past)--If there are so many waiting children and so many waiting parents, why is is so hard to adopt or be adopted?? It doesn't make sense to me and the waiting is just so so hard.
Sorry for the downer at the Holidays. I really am ready for Christmas and am looking forward to spending it with my family.
Merry Christmas to all of you.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The Nutcracker
My mom and her sister came to visit me this weekend and we attended two great Christmas shows.
One of them was the Moscow Ballet's "Great Russian Nutcracker". I was so excited to see it and it was just as I imagined it would be--magical. The ballet performers were so so good and of course I especially liked it because it was the Moscow Ballet--I felt like I was showing my mom some beautiful Russian culture.
We had a great time.
One of them was the Moscow Ballet's "Great Russian Nutcracker". I was so excited to see it and it was just as I imagined it would be--magical. The ballet performers were so so good and of course I especially liked it because it was the Moscow Ballet--I felt like I was showing my mom some beautiful Russian culture.
We had a great time.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Homework--finished
First I want to say Thanks to everyone for the kind words and expresions of sympathy and caring during my Dad's illness and after his death. It means so much to me.
Last week I finished my homework that my agency had given me after my parenting classes--it is the same they give everyone. I answered so many questions about myself, my decision to adopt, my trans-cultural parenting plan and plan for parenting when the adopted child is over one year at adoption. It was quite extensive--My answers turned out to be 20 typed pages long!! I am so glad that I did it though as it makes you examine everything you can think of about adopting internationally.
I got it mailed into my agency and the very next day they called to say they received it and a social worker would be in contact with me within a week. It is really exciting to feel the process is underway again. I am praying for a speedier proces with a better outcome this time around.
My first I-171H expired in Nov. and I sent in for the extension and country change so I am waiting on that but hopefully soon it will be here also.
Last week I finished my homework that my agency had given me after my parenting classes--it is the same they give everyone. I answered so many questions about myself, my decision to adopt, my trans-cultural parenting plan and plan for parenting when the adopted child is over one year at adoption. It was quite extensive--My answers turned out to be 20 typed pages long!! I am so glad that I did it though as it makes you examine everything you can think of about adopting internationally.
I got it mailed into my agency and the very next day they called to say they received it and a social worker would be in contact with me within a week. It is really exciting to feel the process is underway again. I am praying for a speedier proces with a better outcome this time around.
My first I-171H expired in Nov. and I sent in for the extension and country change so I am waiting on that but hopefully soon it will be here also.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tribute to my Dad
I can’t believe it has been a month since I last blogged.
We took my Dad home on hospice care on Oct. 27th and he passed away on Nov.15th.
Hi last wish was to be at home and we are so happy that we could keep him there until the end. My Mom did an awesome job of taking care of him with the help of myself, my siblings, and the hospice workers who were so fantastic.
During those three weeks, all eight of his children were able to visit and spend time with him and we were able to put him up in the combine so he could make one last round in the corn field which was so important to him. He was so happy that day.
My Dad was never in pain (or so he said) but he did endure a lot over the last 11 months of his life—many hospitalizations, tests, treatments, and surgeries. He was lucid and communicating up to the last few minutes of his life. He and my brother had watched the Minnesota Gophers game that afternoon and discussed the plays. My mom had attended church that evening and brought communion home to my Dad. They prayed together and he received communion from her. Within an hour he was gone.
He was not perfect but he was a really great man and we will miss him terribly. I am sad my child will not meet him but I will have stories to tell and she will know her Granddad.
We know without a doubt that he is in heaven—the Bible tells us that we gain entry into heaven by our faith and my Dad believed!
Leo James McNab
January 25, 1936 – November 15, 2008
Final Harvest
He Was bound to the land from the day of his birth
His roots anchored deep in the fertile earth
Nurtured, sustained, by the soil he grew
And his life, like his furrows, ran straight and true
In faith, each spring, he planted the seeds
In hope, to reap his family’s needs
With patience, he waited for the harvest to come
To gather the fruits of his labor home.
Ever turning seasons, the years sped past
Till the final harvest came at last
Then claimed anew by beloved sod
He was gathered home to be with God.
--Barbara W. Weber
We took my Dad home on hospice care on Oct. 27th and he passed away on Nov.15th.
Hi last wish was to be at home and we are so happy that we could keep him there until the end. My Mom did an awesome job of taking care of him with the help of myself, my siblings, and the hospice workers who were so fantastic.
During those three weeks, all eight of his children were able to visit and spend time with him and we were able to put him up in the combine so he could make one last round in the corn field which was so important to him. He was so happy that day.
My Dad was never in pain (or so he said) but he did endure a lot over the last 11 months of his life—many hospitalizations, tests, treatments, and surgeries. He was lucid and communicating up to the last few minutes of his life. He and my brother had watched the Minnesota Gophers game that afternoon and discussed the plays. My mom had attended church that evening and brought communion home to my Dad. They prayed together and he received communion from her. Within an hour he was gone.
He was not perfect but he was a really great man and we will miss him terribly. I am sad my child will not meet him but I will have stories to tell and she will know her Granddad.
We know without a doubt that he is in heaven—the Bible tells us that we gain entry into heaven by our faith and my Dad believed!
Leo James McNab
January 25, 1936 – November 15, 2008
Final Harvest
He Was bound to the land from the day of his birth
His roots anchored deep in the fertile earth
Nurtured, sustained, by the soil he grew
And his life, like his furrows, ran straight and true
In faith, each spring, he planted the seeds
In hope, to reap his family’s needs
With patience, he waited for the harvest to come
To gather the fruits of his labor home.
Ever turning seasons, the years sped past
Till the final harvest came at last
Then claimed anew by beloved sod
He was gathered home to be with God.
--Barbara W. Weber
Saturday, October 25, 2008
It's been a hard week--Life has so many ups and downs
I haven't blogged about it for quite a while but if you remember back in the spring I talked about my Dad's battle with leukemia and his chemotherapy. Well, the whole summer and fall he has been in and out of the hospital with many infections and complications. He has grown extremely weak and this week the Doctor's met with us to say that there was nothing more we could do and that he would not be getting any better. It is extremely hard news to hear but we really all knew that it was coming. His desire now is to be at home so we plan to take him home this week and do hospice care.
I feel extremely blessed that we were able to have the 50th Wedding Anniversary Party for him and my Mom this August. Right at that time he was feeling the best he had in a while and he was able to enjoy the day and visit with all the people that came. My sister made an awesome video of my parent's lives together that started when they were babies. It was so fun to go through all the old pictures and basically remember our whole lives with Mom and Dad and then share it with everyone at the party. We had seen him sick for so long that it was so nice to see him how he used to be and doing all the things he used to do--really remembering the man he really was.
We also had our family picture taken that weekend and it turned out so great--it is such a blessing that we all have that now and it means more than anything.
I will be taking some time off to be with my Dad and help my Mom take care of him.
I will be thinking of all you friends with new children or still waiting and will be anxious to check back up on you when I can.
I feel extremely blessed that we were able to have the 50th Wedding Anniversary Party for him and my Mom this August. Right at that time he was feeling the best he had in a while and he was able to enjoy the day and visit with all the people that came. My sister made an awesome video of my parent's lives together that started when they were babies. It was so fun to go through all the old pictures and basically remember our whole lives with Mom and Dad and then share it with everyone at the party. We had seen him sick for so long that it was so nice to see him how he used to be and doing all the things he used to do--really remembering the man he really was.
We also had our family picture taken that weekend and it turned out so great--it is such a blessing that we all have that now and it means more than anything.
I will be taking some time off to be with my Dad and help my Mom take care of him.
I will be thinking of all you friends with new children or still waiting and will be anxious to check back up on you when I can.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Starting all over and getting smarter
I knew starting over would seem like a set back but I didn't realize that it would seem like a totally new journey. The processes between my new and old agencies are so different and I really feel like a newbie. There is so much focus on education and preparation with this agency and it has been great.
The only downfall is that it makes the process a little longer but I have really been enjoying it.
Last week I spent two full days in Pre-Adoption classes where they discussed many topics such as attachment, losses and grief in adoption, development issues, adopting children from institutions vs. foster care, and inter-racial and transcultural parenting. They also had sessions with the specialists from each country they work with and each person could attend two--in these sessions you got an in-depth explanation of the program in that country. I went to Russia and Ethiopia--after doing that I wanted to adopt from both countries! We also had panel discussions led by adoptive persons, adoptive parents, and birth parents so we could get their perspective on all sides of the process. It was extremely enlightening and interesting the whole time. Of course, it was all prospective adoptive parents attending and I got to meet some more great people and make some invaluable connections.
I will also have one more required day of education that is all about adopting a child over one year old. I expect it will be just as interesting and informative and am really looking forward to it. You can bring as many support people to this class as you want so I am hoping that my sisters and my best friend can come with.
I now have TONS of homework--a big long list of essay questions to complete about every topic imaginable when adopting a child from another country.
After spending two days with the staff at the agency and meeting most of the people I will be working with, I feel so good about my choices--they were awesome and it is easy to see that building an effective family is the primary goal.
After my homework is done the social worker will visit and do my homestudy.
It may take me a while but I am off on a new journey to find my daughter in Russia.
The only downfall is that it makes the process a little longer but I have really been enjoying it.
Last week I spent two full days in Pre-Adoption classes where they discussed many topics such as attachment, losses and grief in adoption, development issues, adopting children from institutions vs. foster care, and inter-racial and transcultural parenting. They also had sessions with the specialists from each country they work with and each person could attend two--in these sessions you got an in-depth explanation of the program in that country. I went to Russia and Ethiopia--after doing that I wanted to adopt from both countries! We also had panel discussions led by adoptive persons, adoptive parents, and birth parents so we could get their perspective on all sides of the process. It was extremely enlightening and interesting the whole time. Of course, it was all prospective adoptive parents attending and I got to meet some more great people and make some invaluable connections.
I will also have one more required day of education that is all about adopting a child over one year old. I expect it will be just as interesting and informative and am really looking forward to it. You can bring as many support people to this class as you want so I am hoping that my sisters and my best friend can come with.
I now have TONS of homework--a big long list of essay questions to complete about every topic imaginable when adopting a child from another country.
After spending two days with the staff at the agency and meeting most of the people I will be working with, I feel so good about my choices--they were awesome and it is easy to see that building an effective family is the primary goal.
After my homework is done the social worker will visit and do my homestudy.
It may take me a while but I am off on a new journey to find my daughter in Russia.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
New Plan
Hi all,
I have to say Thanks--I was so overwhelmed with the response to my blog going private--it is so comforting to know there are that many people out there to offer support and follow along--I am certainly not alone with this journey.
Many of you have asked--So where did you decide to adopt from?
I have started the process with a new agency and they will use some information from my old homestudy/dossier so that getting things ready will go a little quicker than the first time.
I don't have to commit yet but I am 99% sure that my country will be Russia--that is what I am working on.
It is basically like starting over and it will be a long haul again but I feel a little smarter and I feel pretty comfortable with this program. Of course I did with Kazakhstan also when I started so I realize that anything can happen but I just feel like I will be bringing a daughter home.
It feels really good to have some hope again--August was a really sad month as I struggled with all the emotions of a failed adoption attempt. It still is hard to get too excited because I know what can happen but I feel like I have something to hope in again.
I know alot of my friends struggled also or are still struggling with the same issues. I can only say that I pray for you and I hope that you find your hope also.
I have to say Thanks--I was so overwhelmed with the response to my blog going private--it is so comforting to know there are that many people out there to offer support and follow along--I am certainly not alone with this journey.
Many of you have asked--So where did you decide to adopt from?
I have started the process with a new agency and they will use some information from my old homestudy/dossier so that getting things ready will go a little quicker than the first time.
I don't have to commit yet but I am 99% sure that my country will be Russia--that is what I am working on.
It is basically like starting over and it will be a long haul again but I feel a little smarter and I feel pretty comfortable with this program. Of course I did with Kazakhstan also when I started so I realize that anything can happen but I just feel like I will be bringing a daughter home.
It feels really good to have some hope again--August was a really sad month as I struggled with all the emotions of a failed adoption attempt. It still is hard to get too excited because I know what can happen but I feel like I have something to hope in again.
I know alot of my friends struggled also or are still struggling with the same issues. I can only say that I pray for you and I hope that you find your hope also.
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