She is perfect!!!

My trip to Russia has been even better than expected. This has been my first chance to get to a computer so I will try to hit the highlights. To end the suspense I will just start by saying that I have met my daughter and she is perfect. My heart is full.
The travel went very well. I was quite nervous to go this alone but everything went like clock work. All my flights were on time and when I arrived in Moscow I breezed through passport control and customs to find my agency rep waiting for me with a sign. She got me to the other terminal and checked in for my in country flight to Krasnoyarsk. There is a couple here with my agency also and they are adopting from the same orphanage so we have been together almost all the time.
Our first stop was at the Minister of Education where we received our official referrals. It went quite smooth—the couple was asked more questions about why they were adopting than I was. We both found out our orphanage was in Sosnovaborsk—about an hour from Krasnoyarsk.
From there we went straight to the orphanage and there was my little girl sitting waiting in the room when we entered. I,of course, wanted to run right to her and pick her up but she didn’t seem to interested in any of us so I just admired her from afar. It was a little akward at first as we all got our coats off and figured out what we should be doing. The caretaker held her up to give me a hug and she did kind of half-heartedly and then went back to playing and not looking up. I got out the toys I brought and started parrellel playing until she was interested. When I brought out the Disney princesses, we started interacting and then when I got out snacks, she really was happy. By the end of the visit I got some physical contact and lots of smiles—no laughing yet but many smiles. All in all it was a great visit and my heart was captured. She is just so sweet.
On the second day she did come to me but still rather shyly. We got playing much quicker and colored together, read books, played. I got quite a few hugs and at one point when I was sitting on the little bench, she came and slided right into my side and snuggled for a second—boy did that feel good. I also got some great laughs today—playing with balloons and throwing her around. She is a very well behaved child from what I see—she plays with one toy at a time an d puts it right back on the shelf in the same spot before taking another one. At this visit we had to see the orphanage director again and I signed the paper to say YES to adopting her. I had to state her name which still remains private until court is over after the second visit. She blew me a kiss when she said good-bye.
The third visit was great—we had a full two hours together. She came running right to me this time and gave me a big hug. Every once in a while during the visit, she would look at me, hold out her arms and give me a crushing hug that just for a second and then she went back to playing. I loved them. She loves drawing and coloring so we did that quite a while during this visit. When it was time to leave I could hardly stand it—she still goes right to her caregivers and waves good –bye without getting sad but it was hard for me this time because I won’t see her now for a while. It was hard not to shed tears when she was there but I just hugged her tight, told her I loved her, and asked for a kiss—she gave me one with a smile and then ran off with her caregiver. I have to say it took me a moment to compose myself.
Each day the visits take up about 5 hours of our day so we have had some free time and have done some exploring in the area around our hotel. We found a good grocery store and a couple good souviner stores, a great book store, and some good restaurants so it has been fun. The weather here reminds me of January in Minnesota. It has been between 0 and 20 degrees and the ground is covered with snow. Every morning everything is frosty and the trees look so pretty. Fortunately it hasn’t felt too bad for walking around and exploring but I am very glad that I brought my boots.
We leave tomorrow morning so tonight it’s the German restaurant and then home to pack. Before leaving we fill out the forms to petition the courts for the adoption. Our agency rep thinks we will be back before the end of the year—Sounds too good to be true so I hope she’s right.
I can’t say that I exactly feel like a mom yet but I do know that I love that little girl. I knew that venturing out on this trip by myself would be scary but worth it—I just didn’t really realize how worth it. I am so glad I didn’t let fear stop me—look what I have gained!!