Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My last visit to the orphanage





Had another good visit with Hannah--she is showing more personality and being a little more verbal but still pretty quiet for the most part. She seems really happy to be with me and still seems very happy to go with her caregivers also--I don't think she really gets that she will be leaving this place. I met a couple of her friends today and that was cool but sad because she will have to leave them behind. I was also able to see where she "lives" most of the time--her bedroom, play room, and where she eats, and where she goes to the potty--All I can say is that things will be very different for her. A very good change but a big adjustment anyway--for both of us I am sure.
Today was our last good-bye but I won't see her now until Saturday. Two full days of no Hannah--that will be tough but then she will be with me forever. On Saturday morning they bring her to me at the hotel, I change her into new clothes, and her new life begins. I am sure when she leaves the orphanage on Saturday it will be just like any other outing for her and she has no idea what is really ahead. I am excited enough for both of us but am overwhelmed by the feeling of responsibility of doing right by her. I know that this is the right thing and that we will have a great life together but there are still some things that scare me. Please reassure me that this is normal!

12 comments:

Jeff Morris said...

Its normal

Cameron and Kyle said...

Completely normal. You will do great. It will be an adjustment for both of you but you'll get through it and be better for it. Good luck. Thinking of you.

Robin said...

It sounds normal ... you will be telling me the same thing when we go to pick our little boy up. I'm sure you have a ton of emotions you are going through right now. You guys are going to be GREAT!! Sending you my love!

xo,
Robin

Aaron and Julie said...

Exciting & overwhelming - yep that sounds about right! There will be questions, tears and uncertainty. Our kids didn't come to us as infants, but they will go through a period of not being able to communicate effectively - verbally and emotionally. But you are already a fabulous mother - and have have the guidance of the Lord who will see you and Hannah through it all.

Alysa said...

Absolutely, perfectly, and completely normal! And you will likely have many more moments of uncertainty, but that is all part of being a parent. You and your daughter will work through all the adjustments of becoming a family. She is going to thrive with your love and care. Try not to stress too much and just take things one day, hour, or minute at a time. Everything will work out just fine! Can't wait for you to have Hannah with you forever!

qmiller said...

Very normal. Just take one step at a time...it WILL work out.

McMary said...

Here's a comment that was emailed to me from a dear friend--so sweet.

Dear Mary,

Indeed the feelings you are experiencing are very normal. We all as parents have had those feelings and may still, to some extent. Parenting is a huge responsibility, but with your faith in the Lord and the love you have for your child you will be an awesome parent. Always turn to Him. Remember:

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. Proverbs 3:6

Kimberly said...

Oh my goodness - it's here - it's really here - I'm so excited for you! I know I will be terrified too if I ever get to bust my Hannah out of the BBH!

Kelly and Sne said...

I went through the same thing with Miras... but when your daughter is sleeping in the next room all you will feel is your heart swelling with love for her and the thrill that you are together forever.

Mama Andrea said...

I was very overwhelmed at first but your instincts kick in, honestly. You'll feel like you didn't handle something the way you should have, then you'll have a little talk with yourself and the next time you'll improve! Almaz is pushing her boundaries constantly and I tell myself, "she's craving boundaries because she has no idea where they are, so it is my job to create and enforce them." Then you will be in the store and you will say something like, "no, we have those at home and you aren't eating/playing with the ones you have," and you'll laugh at yourself. Prepare for the giggling. It is coming!

Mama Andrea said...

Also, I drew Almaz out by teasing her, saying, "louder" in Amharic when she was whispering. Then one day it was like someone flipped a switch and she hasn't whispered since. It happened two days after I got her home. The individual attention is something they need so badly and once they get it, they will bloom right in front of you. Start increasing the hugs, touch, smooch, encourage her to smooch you on your cheek as much as possible, and then she'll be doing it without you prompting her and you will melt like butter! I carry Almaz around alot too. I put her in the grocery cart even though she's pretty big. And if you can find some local music videos, cultural, or music of any kind with her language, people playing cultural instruments, it is worth it to buy. Almaz requests and watches her Amharic videos I bought daily, multiple times a day. We cuddle, we clap, try to mimic the dances, and we just started to sing along, although I have no idea what they are saying. I can tell she's comforted when she's watching them, though. I just found more on YouTube.

Lou Ann said...

You are a good mother BECAUSE you are nervous and questioning yourself. I would be worried if you had no concerns. You'll both work through whatever comes your way because you are family now and forever.

Have a Blessed Gotcha Day!
Lou Ann & Lexie too