Friday, January 1, 2010

Tickets purchased and Visa on it's way back to me

My passport is on it's way back to me hopefully with the VISA in there. My tickets are purchased. Unfortunately the Russian offices were already closed for the holidays so we didn't get their final approval of the itinerary but had to go ahead with the purchase anyway--my stateside specialist thought they looked good. It is a very long trip so I am hoping the adrenaline will help me get through it.
I also looked up the weather forecast for Krasnoyarsk--bitterly cold. One day has a high of 27 below zero!! Good thing I am from Minnesota but still--that is insanely cold.

I was watching a video of a friend's husband and new son arriving home from Ethiopia and just started bawling. It was so touching and joyous--that alone brought tears to my eyes but then I started realizing that will be me soon and I really started bawling. I am still in shock that this is really happening. I just look at her picture all the time and can't stop smiling.

I am also incredibly exhausted, even though I haven't had to be any busier than any other time. I have to think it is the explosion of so many emotions that I haven't allowed myself to feel during the wait. It is really hard to explain and I don't exactly understand it myself. Hopefully this will make it easier for me to sleep on the plane and help with jet lag issues.

I have made many contacts in the IA world during this journey and as I look back I think that a lot of the perceptions are based on the vantage from which you are looking. When I started the process I was so excited and hopeful and it seemed that everyone else I met along the way felt the same way. Then the waits got longer and my first outcome wasn't good and it seemed that I read of many others having disappointing stories and that sad stories were prevalent. Now I am seeing so many successful and happy stories and lots of beautiful children with parents and I love it. I think the ups and downs, the joys and sadness, the good and bad stories have probably both been there all along but I was definitely looking at it through my experience at the time. I am so glad to have reached this happy perspective (hopefully I am not premature here) but I still remember the hard parts and I hope that all waiting parents get to the same spot I am in.

Happy 2010 everyone--It will definitely be an exciting year for me.


Lou Ann said...

Happy New Year Mary! I too think you are right about prospective during the process. I believe we are all looking for a way to share the experience with others so of course we are drawn to families who are in the same situation. I know for me, I can't help seeing families with 2 children. It doesn't help that all of Lexie's new dolls are her "little sister!" Oh my!
I wish you all the best on your trip back to your daughter and in starting your new life together.

I know 2010 will be a great year for you both!!

Lou Ann & Lexie too

Anne said...

So excited for you, Mary! Very soon you will be a family with your daughter and your lives will never be the same. Gives me goosebumps. I can't wait to meet her! If I can be any help at all to you while you are getting ready to travel please let me know!!!

lisa said...

Hi Mary! I love this perspective myself! It looks beautiful on you! I can't wait to see your pictures with you and your sweet little girl!

Happy New Year! to a very successful 2010! Wow in'll become a mommy! It can't get any better then that!!


Rose said...

27 below zero??? I hope they have underground tunnels connecting everything! Have a wonderful trip...I can't wait to see pictures of your little girl!

John & Jenny Morgan said...

27 below zero?! Wow.

I'm glad you're in a happy place now. :)

Kelly and Sne said...

Wow - I can't believe you are so close to being reunited with your daughter. You have certainly paid your dues in the process and deserve all of the happiness you are about to experience! I know that it is hard sometimes (and I am trying to find that mindset too...) but it does seem to ring true that everything happens for a reason and you'll look back one day after snuggling with your daughter and think that everything worked out just the way it was meant to be. Happy 2010!

Aaron and Julie said...

Exciting indeed! Uh, 27 below?? Everything colder than 0 all feels the same, right?

Kim said...

This is YOUR year Mary! I am so excited for you! Yippeeee!

Shawna said...

2010 is going to be an awesome year for you and your daughter! Safe travels...go bring your child home! Can't wait to meet her!


qmiller said...

Mary: Just checking in to see if you're all packed up and ready to head out..wishing you safe travels, health and a wonderful reunion with your daughter! Looking forward to seeing pics of your pixie!!

Aaron and Julie said...

Mary - I know you are leaving in just a few short days. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and sending prayers & blessings back with you to Russia. -Julie